Beyond the Binary
By Nez Covington
Theo Barklage, 18, reflects on his identity as a trans man, and the ways in which his experience of gender differs from dominant society’s limiting idea of the gender binary. His family’s unwavering support enables Theo to bring “reckless optimism” to OUTright Youth, a nonprofit organization that provides support to and creates a safe and anonymous environment for middle and high school age LGBTQ+ youth.
Theo is seen as a mentor figure to many of the younger individuals in OUTright Youth, and is wholeheartedly committed to helping them question and explore their identities by being his most authentic self and encouraging them to do the same inside the safe space OUTright Youth creates.
Theo Barklage stands in the OUTright Youth space, which has become an anonymous safe
space for many LGBTQ+ youth in the area. Theo says, “Just because something’s legal, doesn’t
mean it’s accepted or encouraged. It’s pretty dangerous to be queer, especially in the south.”
For many of the youth, OUTright is the only space where they are able to be authentically
themselves without fear of disapproval, bullying, or even physical violence. Because of these
threats, as well as the fear of being ostracized by their families, many of the youth are not able
to be out in their schools or to their families. At OUTright, they can safely explore their
identities, meet LGBTQ+ friends, talk to counselors, and get the support they need.
Theo Barklage plays Pathfinder, a role playing game, with his friends. “It’s very easy to feel
lonely as an LGBTQ person, especially in the south,” he says. Many LGBTQ+ youth can feel like
they lack a community and have a difficult time making friends. A lot of the younger people in
OUTright Youth look up to Theo as mentor figure. Theo says he hopes he can turn the support
he gets from his family and friends into positivity to bring to the youth at OUTright.
“Gender is such a personal experience, and it’s as unique as each person. Forcing people
into one box or another hardly ever works,” says Theo. He is speaking about society’s
predominating and limiting idea of the “gender binary,” which is the organization of people into
the roles of either man or woman, based on the sex they were assigned at birth. Theo states, “I
just think gender should be as diverse as people are.”
“When you’re assigned a sex at birth, you’re also assigned a gender to go with it. For most
people that’s fine and they don’t have to think about it – and I can’t imagine what that’s like.”
Theo explains that he and millions of other transgender and nonbinary/genderqueer Americans
do not experience gender in the same way as cisgender people (people whose gender identities match the biological sex they were assigned at birth).
Theo rests in his living room with his dog, Norbert, a 160lb Great Dane.
Theo loves plants, and has a small garden as well as many potted plants he has raised. He
will be attending the University of North Carolina at Greensboro starting this Fall (2018), and
plans to study biology and botany.
Theo laughs during his CPJW interview as Norbert interrupts to investigate the cameras.
Theo waits for the start of the biweekly youth group meeting at OUTright Youth. “I try to
make myself open, and if there’s a new person I’ll usually try and talk to them for at least a
couple minutes,” he says. “I try to be as myself as possible, and encourage other people to do the same.” He continues, “When they’re just questioning in general, I want to encourage that, because questioning is how you get to the finish line.”
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